In Between

you ask me where I am
for what I stand
you ask my opinions,
my beliefs;
if I have learned from my mistakes
if you can still call me redeemed

if you really want to know
I will tell you where I am at:
I am in between
in between faith and questions
truth and opinions
trying to conserve the good and yet reaching out for the new
stuck in between feelings and thoughts
longing to be free
to be me
and still be loved – unconditionally
searching authenticity in between all the fake
listening to my heart in spite of all the voices in my head
and around me
in between regret and relief
not going to church but still believing
feeling judged by the church for not believing without questioning
feeling judged by the world for believing even if questioning
being just different
being strong and also weak
wanting to be tough but still sensitive at the same time
letting go of my doubts or not even starting to trust
in between
giving up and giving in
in fear of disappointment
curiosity for new experiences
but maybe it’s the state in which I have to be in right now
finding the way, still being me
trusting God who created me
you say love casts out fear
but i feel love and fear at once
fear to of failing
and still loved enough to try
longing to be real
in between my ways
and his will
in between their expectations and mine
and me
longing to be free
being myself  while still being loved by them
accepted – even if not understood
while being in between
finding my way


Hier geht es zum Beitrag auf Instagram